Alexander's World Essays

 

More Essays

Canada's Defences in Shambles
(Jan 7, 2003)
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Adoption Open Records Bill-77 Delayed
(Dec 13, 2002)
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Forever, Brothers
(Nov 18, 2002)
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About Birthdays And Ghosts
(May 17, 2002)
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An Open Letter To Anne McLellan
(May 9, 2002)
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Coming Out Gay At 16
(Feb 11, 2002)
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Male Bonding / Am I Gay?
(Jan 23, 2002)
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The Times We Live In
(Dec 5, 2001)
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About Names and Their Meanings
(Jul 15, 2001)
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Movie Review: Chocolat
(Feb 15, 2001)
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Am I Gay, Bi or Str8?

This "essay" is really in two parts. First, a few thoughts about male bonding, the tribal comfort of men, about what closeness and intimacy is like with and without sex, a kind of primal core connection. Second, if you are wondering if you are gay, bi or str8, a quick and easy test that will make you think. It is about your fantasies and if you are honest about your reactions you might find yourself somewhere else on the Kinsey Scale than you expect to be. Enjoy!

The Tribal Comfort of Men

I am a member of a couple of online e-mail support groups for men who are bi, or coming out, and are or have been maried. In a recent note to privately to a member of one of these lists I wrote --

There is a tribal aspect to men-with-men, a certain bonding and comfort that I don't believe occurs between men and women or even men with their families. I am not speaking sexually particularly, more spiritual and psychicly. I have felt it in the tenderness in a man's arms, as I am nestled up behind him, listening to him sleep, and feeling the steady, strong beat of his heart against my hand. It's not about lovers, it's not about love; it is about a deeper primal (hence tribal) connection which is reassuring and healing. And core.

In the 20 months or so on the list I have read many men remark about the passion they have suddenly felt, for the first time in their lives, when they were first experiencing sexual love, emotional connection with a man. It is one of those things that sets gay and bi men apart from completley str8 men, I believe.

But I wonder about this tribal thing -- men's clubs taken to the next level with physical connection. (And yes it's felt on the dancefloor too!)

Is there anyone on the list who *hasn't* felt this?


Am I Gay, Bi or Str8?

Struggling to figure out if you are gay, bi, str8? Wondering if you are deluding yourself or confused? Here is an easy test (you could as easily be bi and pass this one).

Picture yourself in a room, a party maybe, and a youngish woman, nicely proportioned, casual blouse, walks into the room. How do you notice her? She comes over to the snack table, where you are hanging out, looks over the nibblies and then her gaze is cast over and upward toward you. She smiles and nods her head and looks into your eyes. You ask her a question and she puts one hand on your bare shoulder and gestures with her other hand, pointing across the room, adding detail to her verbal answer. Her hand lingers on your shoulder a few moments longer than necessary.

How do you feel? Does your heart race a little? Is your breath a little shallower? Are you taking in her details, the way her lips move when she talks, how her hair sways gracefully or how her eyes meet yours?

Now take the test again. Only this time ...

Picture yourself in a room, a party maybe, and a youngish man, well developed, tank top, walks into the room. How do you notice him? He comes over to the snack table, where you are hanging out, looks over the nibblies and then his gaze is cast over and upward toward you. He smiles and nods his head and looks into your eyes. You ask him a question and he puts one hand on your bare shoulder and gestures with his other hand, pointing across the room, adding detail to his verbal answer. His hand lingers on your shoulder a few moments longer than necessary.

How do you feel? Does your heart race a little? Is your breath a little shallower? Are you taking in his details, the way his lips move when he talks or how his eyes meet yours?

Rate yourself -- which experience is *electric*? If one is ho-hum and the other engenders sexual arousal, then you are likely just one way. If you find each encounter in your fantasy arousing, you are bi.

It's a cheap thrill test, but if you take it honestly, it can be very revealing.

Alexander Inglis (January 23, 2002)
In Toronto

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